In other words, the battle system is so messed up, that fighting sometimes seems as though it’s based on nothing more than luck.Īnd, well, there’s really nothing more to say about this game other than that it sucks and you shouldn’t play it. There were a couple times I stood around swinging my lightsaber at an empty square, not hitting anything, and yet somehow I still managed to kill all the enemies out of my range. The battle system is horrible-changing between weapons is a pain in the ass, and the random enemies move so quickly that it’s nearly impossible to hit any of them on purpose. Regardless of the graphics, it’s not like the game is enjoyable anyway. I’m sure there was a way I could find the original version and play that, but I honestly didn’t care enough. Okay, how? How exactly have the graphics gotten worse nearly twenty years later? Normally, the opposite happens. If I remember correctly, Luke rescues him on one mission, but I don’t have enough shits to give in order to go back and actually replay it in order to find out. Carbonite Han literally just sits in Jabba’s palace. It’s not like any of Luke’s tasks are particularly compelling or that any of the characters have some vital role to play. Indiana Jones also shows up on a few missions, for… some reason. If I remember correctly, characters like Darth Vader, Jabba, Ghost Obi-Wan, and Carbonite Han show up on occasion, which I suppose could have been interesting, if everything else about the game wasn’t so mind-numbingly awful. The game takes place between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi and consists of Yoda giving Luke random missions to Tattooine, Hoth, or Endor to go complete some arbitrary task. Normally, I do like to explain the plot of the game at this point in the review, but Yoda Stories doesn’t seem to have a plot. It’s kind of hard to adequately describe the gameplay for Yoda Stories and what it is about without resorting to screaming the words “total garbage”, but I’ll do my best. Because even playing fucking Monopoly is better than playing this video game. I was about fifteen minutes into the first mission when I threw my hands up in the air and screamed, “screw it! I can do better.” Then I pulled out my original trilogy edition of Star Wars Monopoly- which somehow managed to have a playable figure of Leia, even though she’s a girl! What a shocker!-and played that instead. Since the new movie came out and got me all nostalgic for the original Star Wars, I decided to go back and revisit this game. Okay, the ship is literally only three spaces away.
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